Masculinity. This word has seen many different forms and shapes throughout human history; across cultures, ages and geographic distances. What exactly defines masculinity is still a subject of hot debate that gives rise to as many questions as it solves. For purposes of convenience, let's look at the Western definition of masculinity. To be a man is to be the strong, rough, indifferent, emotionally cold, good at sports and physics and having an interest in fast cars and hot girls. Generally speaking, if you ask any layman off the streets what their definition of a "blokey" bloke would be, it would be somewhere in the vicinity of that. Now how do taking selfies fit in with that image?
Selfies are a recent addition to society, with increasing popularity coming from front-facing smart phone cameras. Taking photos of oneself shows that you care about how you look, present yourself to the world and how you perceive yourself. Lo behold, a man who cares about how he looks? How is that even possible! The conventional definition of masculinity gets challenged, and as with any change, it does not fit into society straight away. Girls get away with posting selfies because in a way, they are almost expected to show themselves off. When men do it, it's called being self-absorbed and narcissistic.
Your body is your work of art. It's how you look after it and nurture it is how it reflects to the world. Obviously, genetics play a huge part in how you look. But this does not take into account the way you dress, present and carry yourself. If artists can proudly show off their pieces of art to the world, if a ventriloquist can showcase their talent and a pianist can post YouTube videos of their work, why can't a guy who has taken effort to take care of himself showcase that to the world? If by going to the gym or exercising, making the right fashion choices and taking care of yourself has made you confident enough to finally show yourself off, what gives the society any right to criminalise this person and call him a narcissist?
Growing up, high school was a difficult place for me as it is for a lot of people. It's an age of transition, where you are fumbling along the ropes of life trying to get a grip on who you are as a person. Being overweight and acne-ridden at this stage of your life is that last thing you need, however it is precisely at this age that you get this burden. Having endured taunts at being overweight and "pizza-face", I would avoid swimming carnivals and any events at which I had to expose my greatest shame: my body. When teenagers like me decide to take action about this and change their lives for the better, suddenly they are called narcissistic because they care about how they look. The same society that drives anyone who is overweight (or too skinny) to become healthier with taunts, is the same society that has problems when these people proudly post photos of their new image. These double standards are dangerous and may cause negative impacts on those who are deeply affected by body-image and self esteem issues.
So my request to these article publishers is, next time you decide to blast men who take selfies as
narcissists and psychopaths, take some effort to understand the background story. Each person has a story for how they are in the present and generalising all men into one category and then publicizing this flawed research on the internet can only cause more harm than good.
To end this post, I leave you all with a selfie #proud #sorrynotsorry
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